If someone introduced themselves to me in the past as a life coach, I would assume they’d tell me what to do with all my problems, that they have a hidden formula, a secret about how to live for the rest of my life (and there are other professions that claim to know it.)
But it never happened. I never met a life coach before I wanted to be a life coach and a hypnotherapist.
Life coaching is relatively new so I’m not surprised when people get mad and ask “So… do you tell people what to do?”
Do you like to be told what to do? Neither do I. And you didn’t ask for a therapy.
And here you may be puzzled…
You see, the blog I’m writing often includes suggestions or possibilities and occasionally I will say a word “never” or “always”, without using enough of ”possibly” “maybe” option 1, 2, 25 and “if”. I love writing and I decided I am going to draw from my experience, have fun with it, and give up the need to be objective or all-inclusive. This way I write only for some people. Not for everyone (which in the end would be for no one.)
A life coaching session is so much different.
“The person who does the talking, does the learning”
We only have your goal as a direction, but you do most of the talking. A life ( creativity, spiritual, etc) coach’s role is mostly to ask questions, not to tell you what to do. If you worked with a coach you recall that the greatest part is your progress, the fact that you did the work, that was needed to have the breakthrough, the satisfaction we have, when we have done the great work. Not when it’s done for us.
The outcome is unknown in the beginning, your discovery is unexpected. There is no structure that needs to be followed, no script, I don’t know what’s good for you. You don’t realize it yet, so we engage your inner wisdom.
So how does a session looks like?
Like a conversation.
A walk in the desert, connecting with the spirit of nature.
Brainstorming thru the space.
Problem solving in a quiet office.
The session is about you, all of you and more of you. As a client you are asked to step into your power and take responsibility for your process, answers, actions, decisions, it cannot be any other way. This is the responsibility that feels light, empowering, not heavy.
Here is why: coaching in it’s essence is not about changing you, but empowering you, helping you find your way, so you no longer underestimate yourself, so you’re making it on your own terms. Coaching focuses on your abilities, presence, coaching sees you as a whole, perfect being. Coaching gives the power back to you.
It can be an intense process, however…
There might be levels of intensity and you control it.
It happens thru shifting of the responsibility: if someone tells you what to do, they underestimate you. They want, intentionally or not, consciously or not, to be responsible for the outcome.
When you are the one who decides about things to do: you are taking the responsibility back. The circuts of your mind start operate on a different level. You can be temporarily lost, you may not know what to do, but in the end you know this is your decision.
What a wonderful entry to the life on your own terms
You get out of it as much as you put into it.