How To Find Confidence When You Feel Insecure.
Some insecurities come up only when triggered. Others are staring at you daily, as soon as you wake up. The sure thing is: everybody’s got something. At one point or another.
How do people deal with it on an emotional level? What can be done, NOW, so we feel better about ourselves?
How NOT to do it: Ineffective dealing with insecurities.
You might have observed, that sometimes people try to cover the very thing that stands out most about them. (Or us. However it’s hard to observe ourselves. We are doing a better job watching others). Perfecting every aspect of their appearance, informing you of their high life (and high teas), they try to convince you, they belong to an elite, while making cardinal mistakes all over the place, pointing an observer to a different conclusion… Because of their motives they come across as inauthentic, hence it’s hard for them to really connect with people.
Others may be so self-conscious of their imperfections, they withdraw, comparing themselves, letting skin imperfections, or shameful, past failures overshadow number of their wonderful attributes. They deny themselves the full participation in life, in anything worthwhile.
So what can be done? I see just two choices:
Own it – OR – Change it!
And that is all.
But I will continue…
1. How do you “own it”?
Some things can’t be changed, so we step on a long and windy road of self acceptance, to finally come to terms with the “insecurities”, until one day they don’t bother us any longer. Until one day they become a gift. And you, in the end, (or hopefully way before the end), can see a good reason for them to be in your life.
2. Feeling confident by “changing it.”
First: the decision. You make a 100% commitment to change the situation or thing. Mind and heart says “YES!” and you have the faith you can do this. Decision happens in a nanosecond, however it can take long time to come to the point of making it.
It can also take a long time to reach your goal. But you will notice one interesting thing: you do not have to reach the final goal to feel more confident. Just by taking small, consistent actions towards the change, step after step, you will feel increasingly better about yourself. NO ACTION – NO CONFIDENCE.
(Of course when you reach the goal your confidence will blow up all the emergency valves.)
If you are into it, you can even say a prayer:
“Dear Universe, please give me the power, wisdom and patience, to change what can be changed. And open my heart to self compassion and kindness, so I can accept myself fully; and see a Gift in this challenge. Now.”
Have patience with all things but above all: have patience with yourself. – St. Frances de Sales