The obstacle to success: entitlement to results
Nobody thinks they are entitled. But the moment you get frustrated, disillusioned, or overworked, you may notice a thought:
“I have done so much work, I should have gotten more out of this.” “I should have burned more calories after working out so much.” “I should have earned more.” “I should have lost more.”
The feeling is so dissapointing… so much effort and little results. Maybe you are even close to burnout. Maybe you feel helpless. You want to quit, give up.
I know it’s hard. I was in this place many times. So let’s just acknowledge, it sucks.
Now, please notice one subtle detail
Underneath this sadness is an expectation that effort equals result. Entitlement. Interesting fact: We all feel entitled quite often! We all think that we should get what we want sooner rather than later. Notice what happens when a person is convinced about this, when entitlement takes over: they stop moving towards their goal… pushing it away.
The effort didn’t create the desired results? Ok then I will overeat again. Why bother if what I do doesn’t work.
When we replace entitlement with curiosity we start asking better questions: “Is there another way? What do I need to change?”
You will get what you want because you work for it. It’s wanting the results on your timeline that keeps you stuck.
The trained mind knows:
- The delay supposed to happen. The need to readjust is the norm.
- The moment you want to give up because you have done so much is not a final failure; it can be a moment of surrender.
- This is not a moment to stop; it is a moment to revise the plan and make adjustments. (You thought you needed to change 2 things to lose 20 pounds. Turns out, you need to adjust your approach or double down on what’s working.)
- It’s time to scan for obstacles and blind spots. It’s not a sign to quit; it’s a sign to only take a break.
- It’s time to gain perspective.
- Recalibrate & Recommit.
- Or maybe it’s a purposeful redirection.
Adjustments are a part of the game.
Especially when building healthy habits and losing weight, it’s a highly individualized process. That’s why weight-loss or emotional-eating programs last longer to allow time for the so-called failures.
When we feel entitled to results and quit, we throw away the work. But what if we are almost there? The breakthrough could be one adjustment away. Don’t throw away your work now. Let’s find what needs to shift.