Create A Reservoir Of Inner Peace [ reduce anger and other negative emotions ]
I’m making 3 videos about “how to have more peace and less negativity including anger” This is video #2. #1 was about boundaries and you can watch it in my previous post. # 3 about communication and speaking up is here.
Everyone of us has an inner reservoir of peace and calm. It can sustain us in challenging situations.
For some it’s almost empty, for others it’s overflowing.
This video may be especially good for people who are running on empty, struggle with too many negative emotions and negative inner talk. There is a way to replenish your reservoir of peace, maximize time when you feel good. Significantly reduce time spent in negativity.
But first let me show you where I’m coming from.
Human body has two nervous system, parasympathetic, and sympathetic.
Parasympathetic stands for rest and digest. It supports our well-being.
Sympathetic stands for fight or flight and engages all the stress hormones and neurotransmitters, it drains you off energy. Its activated during both physical and mental stress. If you had a stressful situation in the morning and keep replaying it in your mind for the whole day, worry a lot, you notice that your body will shows the symptoms of stress the whole time. Even though “the danger” is gone.
The body is designed to spend the majority of its time in the parasympathetic mode. It should use sympathetic system only in life threatening situations. Unfortunately the busier the life, the more demands we have, the more this system is active creating chronic stress and fatigue.
You will replenish the inner reservoir of peace and calm, when you make a deliberate effort to spend more time in parasympathetic mode. Relaxing deliberately.
So here are the tips on how to do it.
- Create positive and supportive inner dialogue. Watch what’s going on in your head. If you feel something negative it’s because your thoughts got you there. It doesn’t matter if the thoughts simply reflect the truth. You can still change then to positive, because you can see events from a different perspective.
The simplest thought – or mantra- could be “I choose peace instead of this” “All is well” “Only good can come from this” I’m safe” or – if you worry that you will be fired after an argument with a boss, you may change the worry to “I know my worth, I know I’m a great asset to this … or another company if it comes to this…”
Watch out for the inner critic, perfectionist and saboteur. Very often our worst critique comes from ourselves. Engage the inner supporter and the inner true friend.
- Quality relaxation time. Aim for at least 30 min of daily, really good relaxation. If you are crazy busy maybe you only have 10 mins. During the time don’t scroll your life away on facebook, instead turn off technology, take the shoes off, step on the grass and listen to the wind.
Nature has such a nourishing and strengthening effect on our bodies and psyche, if you only open to it. Perhaps you can search your environment for a place that feels really good, which can become a vortex of energy for you. Where you can replenish your reservoir. Here, you can even incorporate some slow form of movement like yoga or tai chi. But no exhausting exercise.
- Private refuge. Hopefully your home can be such a refuge. How does the space make you feel? Is there a mess and chaos or is it visually pleasing, including colors, objects, furniture? Is it filled with unpleasant noise or silence or calming music? Do you use a lot of harsh, artificial fragrances or essential oils? (real EO have endless benefits for body and soul) How are the lights? Change bulbs or lamps to make it calming.
- Meditation, stillness, or meditation in motion (therapeutic dance)
I noticed that meditation with intention works really well:
- Sit down to meditate, focus on your breath….
- Tune into your body and heart: what’s missing, what do they need? What would help to create harmony and calm?
- Once you notice how you want to feel / what you want to feel more of – repeat the word to yourself during exhale or inhale. Feel the difference.
I go for “grace,” “lightness,” “peace” most of the time. Words have their own vibration that affect us deeply.
Here are few more practices to help you build or replenish your inner reservoir of peace:
- Set your own rules for the game: create an empowering philosophy for your life.
- Have more faith and trust in yourself… in life’s perfection… in the course of the events.
- Let go, surrender.
- Create your own prayer, it’s best when it’s improvised.
- Stop inviting yourself to other people’s drama. Don’t accept invitations to arguments.
- Don’t overgive.
I’d love to know how you create your own inner reservoir of peace. Please comment below!