The Best Remedy to Perfectionism
I just wanted to quickly share some essential thoughts on perfectionism.
I have two remedies to perfectionism I want to offer, but first, to find a remedy we first have to look at nature of the issue, right?
What actually is perfectionism?
It’s a fear of judgement. Fear of shame. It’s a stress over how others perceive us.
- It’s not about how much you care.
- It’s not about high standards.
- It’s not about being detail oriented.
Those are about how you do things.
While perfectionism is about how you talk to yourself, how you treat yourself while you are doing them.
This leads me to the first remedy: be KIND to yourself
Because perfectionism is self-abuse, self-mistreatment. So have some self-compassion. Talk to yourself like you like and love yourself.
Be LOYAL to yourself. Second remedy.
The next things you will notice about it, it’s an attempt to manipulate others and how they think about us.
In my own life I noticed, I was in disbelief actually, how over decades some people were judging me for what did I look like, how did I dress, the amount of judgement in my early life was off the charts. And later when I changed how I looked, when I tried harder to dress well, there was another wave of people judging that! Then I understood …. what the… !
You will never win the game of controlling how other see you and what they think about you. So it’s better to simply:
Be loyal to yourself. Know what’s true for you.
Which is my second remedy. Just find within the sense of Inner Authority, foundation within yourself. Know what’s true for you.
Not in the video: change how you perceive failure. Failing is not about you or your worth. It’s an essential part of showing up and doing the work. Any work. Many successful people talk about how it’s an essential part of success.
Watch / read next “How perfectionism sabotages every step of a project”
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