Three Ways Of Dealing With Fear

Fear and doubts really can delay our progress, our happiness.

For example: fear can paralyze you from sharing your artwork, performing, because you are afraid of rejection and critique.

Or it can stop you from breaking up with someone, who is making you miserable, because you are afraid you be always alone and the only person who will ever knock on your door will be the Fedex guy.

What is fear? 

Some say FEAR states for “false evidence appearing real.”  Or: “f….. everything and run!” But it may be a voice of your intuition, trying to protect you from acting on a bad idea.

So how to distinguish between the voice or something false? 

It may come up in the process of overcoming your fear. Below are my 3 ideas on overcoming fear.

1. Ridicule it. Make the fear small. Make it afraid of you!

What you are scared of may be like a spider. If you see it close, it’s scary and it has way too many legs. But when you see it from the distance of 20 meters, it will be very small or hopefully you won’t see it at all – you can go about your  business.

Same with the thing that stops you from moving forward in personal happiness or in your work project. If you are scared of public speaking or performing, realize that the critics and haters are usually a minority in any group. (well… in politics it may be different) They are also not very important people.

If you change your focus from haters to those that support you – those that admire you or are ok with your performance – you will be more confident, you will notice the difference. Imagine the possible future if you put yourself out there. Imagine what happens if you don’t.

If you are wondering about breaking up with someone who is making you unhappy, instead of focusing on the immediate future afterward, and the pain, imagine all the wonderful experiences you will have with the right person, who will admire you and support you.

Imagine all the possibilities.

As a result you may see that your fear is not a 20 story, a mile long building, but something you can just step over, and move on.

As a result you may see that your fear is not a 20 story, a mile long building, but something you can just step over, and move on.

People who seem not having fear at all, simply know, that on the other side of fear there are usually rewards. They know fear, but they learned to tame it, and know it’s part of living outside of comfort zone.

2. Reason with it. Have a logical argument with the fear. 

Ask yourself some questions, most of which may be rhetorical…

• What is the worst that can happen?
• What am I losing if I don’t move forward with this.
• If I don’t do – what I plan to do – how will it affect my self esteem / my self respect?
• Did other people did something similar in the past?  Did they survive?

What if you reasoned but the fear is unreasonable and unresponsive? See below.

3. Hear your inner voice. 

I don’t think we should push thru the fear mindlessly. What if this is your intuition speaking to you, warning you about the consequences? Not everything is “worth it.” Living outside the comfort zone – yes. Bungee jumping on every bridge, walking into every dark alley… probably not.

So recognize if the voice is coming from your intuition. Easily said than done?

When you are in a deep relaxed state the truth will hit you. You will know. For some people recognizing their inner voice is more complicated.

One session with a clinical hypnotherapist like me, can change that. In hypnosis session, you may discover things you didn’t realize before.

You may even recognize, that the life change you have trouble deciding about (like move to another state, change of a job) is not something YOU really want to do. Rather your spouse wants that more than you, or you bought into the idea that you “should.”

It can also apply when you are about to have a surgery, buy a home, make any big commitment: the fear or resistance from within is so strong that you are terrified. And if you move forward, the marriage is a mistake from day 2, the surgery had complications, the house had hidden issues… 

Now I would like to hear from you in the comments below: HOW did you overcome your fears? Did you hear the inner voice disguised as fear? 

p.s. The photo shows a wave of sandstorm from this summer. I went to photograph it and it attacked me. I was very afraid but it was also very exciting.