Let me tell you the truth about you

Have you ever been told something about you, that felt like a punch in the gut?

Well, let me tell you: that was not the truth. That was likely just someone’s opinion.

Or maybe it was not the whole truth. After all, who knows you better than you know yourself?

 

Why it hurts to hear the “truth”

You may know the feeling from the past when someone said: “Can I tell you the truth about you? “ And underneath you sensed meanness, jealously, disapproval?

Maybe you immediately felt small and invisible. (but it taught you to choose friends better)

Why hearing such words hurts:

It hurts to be betrayed.

It hurts to realize someone close to you doesn’t want the best for you.

It hurts to realize that a close family member doesn’t care about your feelings, only about their own feelings and ego. But worry not: 

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The Truth will set you free.

This is the reason I wanted to write about it: recently I was told the Truth by two people. And I felt liberated.  And,no , they didn’t tell me how wonderful I am, haha, they actually pointed to me: what is lacking, what is missing, what is the reason why I don’t have what I want. And to my greatest surprise it didn’t hurt.

If anything, there was a feeling of ” thank you for caring so much about me, that you tell me what you noticed, and you were concerned that I don’t”

The truth was told kindly, in a way that I felt: he/she wants the best for me. They are “on my team”

How to tell the truth?

• I have my rules about how I tell the truth, if I even do, but I’d rather not set them in stone.
• Coming from a place of acceptance and compassion helps.  From a place “we are in this together”
• It’s better to wait – things often are not what they seem to be and we like to jump to judgements
• You know how misunderstandings are easy. Even if you mean well. Not everyone will understand you because we hear thru filters. Some people have thick  filters to protect themselves. Deep conversations about us touch delicate matters and underneath it all is a question “Am I ok? Am I lovable?” “are you on my team or not on my team?”
• I recognize a person says the Truth about me, when I feel: the person is “on my team”