What to do with all the feelings?

What should we do with emotions? How should we handle them?
In the previous post, I mentioned that emotional expression is important for mental health. Even more: emotional awareness.
Today, I will clarify what a HEALTHY WAY of processing FEELINGS is and what isn’t.

What to do with emotions. What is healthy?

✅ ACKNOWLEDGE. It’s common to rush, not paying attention to what’s coming up. It’s common to talk ourselves out of our negative emotions. This can lead to self-betrayal, ignoring the signs, and regrets. However when you stop and quietly acknowledge to yourself what it is you are feeling, you will realize it helps you be true to yourself. It’s a part of self-care.
✅ NAME IT. Naming the feelings specifically; emotional granularity was shown to improve mental and physical wellbeing, as well as self-regulation. Go beyond “I feel good” I feel bad,” and pull up a list of emotions from the internet and learn to identify them with better precision. (see articles in Frontiers in Psychology)
✅ PROCESS. When people learn how to process emotions, they are surprised at how quickly the negative ones can fade away. They realize there is nothing to be afraid of. They feel and go through the feelings. Nobody gets stuck. This skill helps overcome bad habits, soft addictions, and emotional healing. I use it with clients working on a variety of goals (see the work of Peter Levine or Eugene Gendlin)

Here is what NOT to do with emotions because it backfires (and is unhealthy):

🚩 RESIST. When you resist your emotions, you deny they exist. True, they can be inconvenient in a moment, so it’s good to have the skill of rejecting them temporarily (you don’t want to punch someone or express your misplaced romantic feelings) but if it’s going on forever, you are resisting and rejecting a message from your inner guidance. The feelings are still there, affecting you, and others. It takes energy to resist, while processing them could help you transform them.
🚩 AVOID. We avoid feelings when facing them would mean we need to change. Change is uncomfortable, so we try to feel better by overdrinking, overeating, excessive shopping, and unconsciously trying to feel a bit better, while it could be enough to acknowledge and process the feelings.
🚩 REACT. Reacting looks like taking out your feelings on people or things. It may look like: yelling, arguing, smashing objects, or taking revenge. It can be pleading or blaming. We react to emotions when we are afraid of feeling them.

All the methods have a place in society for self-preservation. But then comes a time when we are alone with ourself and we still reject, avoid, and react. Feelings/emotions are our guidance system. If they are avoided for a long time, they will try to get your attention in more painful way.

If you feel disconnected from yourself and don’t know where to start, contact me, and I will guide you through the processes until it’s a part of your self-care.