Feeling Insecure? Do this to feel more confident

Have patience with all things but above all: have patience with yourself. – St. Frances de Sales

We call it insecurity, when it really interferes with life. We call it a weakness if from time to time we get reminded about it.

The sure thing is: Everybody’s got something. (At some point in life) How can we deal with the insecurities? 

FIRST OF ALL Feeling insecure is a matter of perception. In your mind this particular characteristic makes you FEEL less worthy or less attractive. You put so much attention to and energy into it, it blinds you to the fact there is more to you than just THIS.  Note I wrote “you feel” less worthy. Not: you are less worthy. Though you may believe that you are less worthy, try to see this as a feeling, not the definite truth.

What do we do? Don’t do this:

a. don’t pretend. Don’t try to impress people with who you are NOT. It will stand out more. It will prevent you from connecting with others. We crave real, true, authentic 

b. don’t hide. Don’t let the insecurity overshadow many of your wonderful qualities. If that applies: seek people with a similar issue. Don’t deny yourself the full participation in life…

What do we do? One of the two: 


Accept it or decide to change it.

  1. Acceptance. I know, is easier said than done. It takes time. It’s a practice. When you realize that this part of you cannot be changed in any way, have some self-compassion. Self- respect. And self-love. Practice self-acceptance. Own this experience. See yourself thru different eyes… With time you will realize your own worth. the insecurity will move to the background, until it’s no longer relevant.
  2. Change.  Once you realize this weakness or insecurity can be changed, make a decision. Make a 100% commitment to change the situation or thing.  Decision happens in a nanosecond. Change can take a moment, weeks, months or years. Just do the work.

This will boost your confidence: TAKING ACTION. 


The action needs to be regular.  You do not have to reach the final goal to feel more confident! Just by taking small, consistent actions towards the change, step after step, you will feel increasingly better about yourself. Every small success makes the next one easier. Every little success helps you believe you can achieve more.

(When you reach the goal, you may notice something interesting. Though you feel more confident, you also feel humbled by the work it took. You will have more self-respect for yourself and for others who go thru similar process) 

If you are into it, you can even say a prayer:

“God, Spirit, Universe, please give me the power, wisdom and patience, to change what can be changed. And open my heart to self compassion and kindness, so I can accept myself fully; and see gifts that come with this challenge. Help me see this as simply a human experience. Now.”