Confused What “Self-Love” is? Here is the answer.

I had mixed feelings about “self love”. In the past I associated it with self-centeredness and arrogance. But when I looked deeper into it, and redefined it for myself, I realized that this is one of the most important works we need to do in life. It’s closely connected with developing our self esteem – which is responsible for success in all areas of life, including health, and harmony in all relationships.

If I had to replace the word “self love” with another one, I would say it’s a path of total self acceptance. AND there is so much more to it.

what is self love and care?

So below I’m sharing with you my attempts to define “self love” for myself, based on my long and rocky road. My progress was never consistent; quite contrary, it was a mixture of unexpected revelations and long periods of sabotaging myself and dimming my light. I see that my work is still in progress. And I have many daily opportunities to turn my steering wheel towards or away from it.

Louise Hay (“Heal your body”) who for decades have taught millions of people how to care for and love themselves, writes:

“I have found that there is only one thing that heals every problem, and that is: to love yourself. When people start to love themselves more each day, it’s amazing how their lives get better. They feel better. They get the jobs they want. They have the money they need. Their relationships either improve, or the negative ones dissolve and new ones begin. Loving yourself is a wonderful adventure; it’s like learning to fly.”

(I loooove Louise Hay!)  Big promises in this quote… and good things take time. This suggests that learning self love is a gradual thing. It’s a process that keeps changing and expanding our lives and our idea of self.  With every small success it’s opening us to more and more. It is indeed learning how to fly.  And it’s surprising how many of us take these lessons quite late in life.

What is self love? 

All the things below can be expressed in infinite ways.

  • Self care.
  • Respect, kindness, compassion and support for yourself.
  • Friendliness and patience with yourself.
  • Faith in yourself.
  • Allowing yourself to expand the experience of joy, play, health and happiness.
  • Permission to expand and deepen your spiritual, mental, emotional and physical freedom and power.
  • Choosing things that empower you.
  • Seeing yourself as a complete being.
  • Taking responsibility for every part of life.
  • Ability to forgive yourself for the parts that are not ideal.
  • Thinking and discerning.
  • Keeping self critique, judgement and perfectionism to the very minimum. (in the future I may say “being perfectionism-free”
  • Knowing that the more you love yourself the more you invite the world to love you and the more love you have to offer.

“Self love” is a daily mindfulness and openness practice.

Mindfulness – because every moment you can make a choice towards or away from it (with your thoughts, words or actions)

Openness – because it is about expanding the limits of  what’s possible for us.

Anything you want to add? I would love to hear in the comments how you are learning self love and care.  Thank you!

  • Ronnie says:

    Another nice article … many wonderful points and observations you shared. I have read some of Louise Hay and really like her perspectives on life and self-love.

    I think that perhaps the most important attribute of one who has authentic self-love is when they have a knowing that they are indeed one with the universe … and everything is perfect just the way they are for reasons unknown, in this ever expanding universe we call home … a home that is constantly changing yet staying the same.

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