Do you have something in your life that you need to do, but you can’t make yourself do it?
I know, I have to write. Writing makes me happy and fulfilled. But why sometimes it seems I can’t?
It was before I started the blog in 2012… Each day I wanted to share things that created a positive change in my life… but something was holding me back. What was it? Why couldn’t I write? Silly excuses:
“English is my second language. When I read what I wrote a week ago, I often have no clue what I wanted to say. I may never grasp English punctuation. I saw those delicious recipes in La Cucina Italiana and I have to try them. Now. The weather is perfect. I would rather be biking. Everything has been written.” (I’ll come back to the excuses in a moment)
Each night I felt deeply disappointed with myself; I wrote nothing, except a short note in my journal.
When excuses are stronger than your passion, you need a breakthrough. If you ignore your inner voice for too long, bad things happen:
- The creative energy stored inside is expressed in some destructive manner.
- Because you are not utilizing your talents, your self-esteem suffers.
- You feel miserable.
- You belief that others do it better.
- You think you don’t have what it takes.
- You start having sleepless nights.
- You may be looking at others saying “I could do it better”
- And on the other side of the spectrum: someone is looking for help from someone like you, and you are not showing up to the conversation.
- The biggest disappointment is when you are disappointment in yourself.
Underneath of the excuses there are all kinds of fears. You need to look deeper and deeper into this, to find them and to face them. You may think you are inadequate, that you don’t know enough, that you are not the kind of person doing this kind of thing, that you have so much self-doubt.
But these really are fears you can totally conquer: fear of judgment, fear of failure, fear of having to defend yourself, fear that you are inadequate.
I did start writing then because I could no longer not.
How does breakthrough happen?
- I took one small action. That lead to another, and another. There was pleasure and rewards coming from this process.
- I took an action without overthinking it.
- I came to the conclusion, that for me the breakthrough wasn’t just one thing. It was a series of experiences that changed my perception. Perception of myself first of all.
- As a result: I started to value my own voice and my desire to write.
- I let myself to honor the artist within me.
- I acknowledged the healing aspect of writing and recognized that I learn thru it.
- I am surrounded by creative women who keep themselves to high standards and it is inspiring. Excuses are unattractive. They are sign of emotional childhood.
- What I resisted before, became a very nourishing activity.
In order for things to change, for some of us, the discomfort has to grow larger than excuses. And our courage to act needs to grow larger than fears.
So wait patiently, don’t force it, be clear about what you want.
These may be the steps of your breakthrough, in your creative work:
1. Create a clear intention about who you want to be and what you want to do. Know that self doubts are part of entering a new territory, and it will go away, as you progress.
2. Be sure this will energize you.
3. Make the decision and tune in- does it resonate in your body and heart?
4. Don’t take yourself so seriously. It’s ok , even necessary to make mistakes.
5. You will run into other challenges that will test your commitment. Just know this is part of the process.
6. Positive events happen because you act in integrity with yourself.
You will notice that you were the person that was holding you back. And the breakthrough process allowed you to get to know yourself better and grow.