[video] How to fix other people [advanced practice]


Can you fix other people

…without them even knowing you fixed them? Well… I do it. It’s an advanced method.

It gets better with practice. You may be thinking I am kidding. 

You may try it and it won’t work in the beginning.

You may not even want to do it, because you think it’s BS.

But I do it. This stuff works. I learned it from Pema Chodron.

This is the way:

Whenever someone annoys me, whenever “I don’t understand why…!?” about them,  I catch it. Within moments. and then I do this: 

  1. Define what quality bothers me in that person.
  2. Look for it within me. I may find it in me, in a small version, Or a big version.
  3. Approach it with an open mind, curiosity, kindness. “Where did it come from? Why do I feel compelled to act it out? What one thing can I do to minimize it?”

We may realize the other person simply magnified it for  us, so we could work on ourselves.
Because we can only change ourselves.

As I’m going through this process, in minutes, forget about the other person.  If they show up again with that issue – I have more understanding for them, and closer connection. And I will think about that person with more compassion. 

We are mirrors to each other. The world is our mirror.

How we experience another person is through the thoughts and feelings we have about them.
This practice changes the thoughts and feelings so we are no longer “hooked” so much on the person.
The world reflects us in many ways. One of them is through people that annoy us.

What Pema Said

I heard Pema Chodron talk about the worst people in the history. She said when you look at their qualities for example greed or cruelty, you can find those qualities within yourself if you are honest, but within you, they may be expressed in a very minimal way. You can’t change the history or those people. But you will gain more compassion towards yourself. This is an advanced mindfulness practice.