[Podcast 1] When you open a new chapter in life
In the episode I mentioned this guided meditation https://insighttimer.com/joannazajusz/guided-meditations/inner-mastermind-speak-to-your-guides-and-mentors.
It was midnight sometime in 2012 I was sitting in my haunted house where I lived alone. It was a time when I was into metaphysics and Universal laws. And I thought… well, all the limiting beliefs, self sabotage, laziness come from within. They often started decades ago, we still carry them with us into the future… like it’s our job. What if we could stop dwelling and instead created a spark of change within, a rebellion against the negativity , to create a better life.. So that would be what ? That would be a positively rebellious act. ______________
In this episode I want to talk about closing old chapters in life and opening new chapters in life. And I think there are Four THINGS that are significant in the process.
- Self care
- Inner trust
- Shift from emotional childhood to emotional adulthood
- Discomfort. Ability to recognize what type of discomfort we are dealing with
People start new chapters in life for many reasons. Sometimes an idea of creating change comes from deep knowing that you are wasting your life in current situation, it comes from deep knowing that you have more potential. That you can do better than this. You start having visions of a more fulfilling, peaceful or exhilarating life. And those visions don’t want to leave you alone.
Often the new chapter starts from a need to repair yourself. It is truly a healing journey. Many people talk about pain on the level of their soul. The actual words “my spirit told me to do this, if I stayed there, I’d die”
Before you open one chapter you may want to close the old chapter. But how does it start? There has been a tipping point. When enough is enough. There has to be willingness to take some risks. Sometimes you may not be ready but you are pushed off the cliff, you got fired from a job you hated, your spouse surprises you with divorce papers, and you need to find some footing asap.
Whether you are initiating the change or life initiated it for you, It is important to start making choices from a place of self respect, self care, self acceptance. No, you don’t need to be great at it right from the start. Or you wouldn’t be here. I think the whole life is a process of self acceptance. But in the painful moments you really see with more clarity where the self love has been missing. And because for years I have been face to face with people in these situations I know this is beautiful process or reclamation of hope, self love, acceptance, and self respect. We feel raw and alive at the same time.
I don’t know how anyone would skip this part. Because learning self acceptance, self care, self respect is not only a gift to yourself but also to anyone you meet on your path, anyone you are connected with. Because you carry yourself differently you communicate differently and act differently and that may spark more self love in another person. I think if every person had more self care acceptance and respect that would heal the world. On every level, globally.
Back to starting a new chapter... It’s interesting that we may be stuck in one way of thinking and as soon we want something bigger, we are forced to open our eyes to more truth, to different perspectives. and when you are open and do the inner work a veil of illusion is lifted , you move forward, you step into more empowered self and then you make another discovery, another veil is lifted and so on. It is like peeling the layers to your truth, seeing the limiting beliefs for what they are: lies that pretend to be true.
One of those revelations is moving away from emotional childhood to emotional adulthood. This alone can be incredibly empowering: when we stop blaming others for our situation and take responsibility for it. Even if someone is objectively responsible for your situation, as it happens in families, you have childhood wounds – often we grow up waiting for the same people to change and to apologize and repair everything. But they are not capable of doing it. They didn’t go through their self healing, so we may be waiting forever. Instead we can learn emotional adulthood stop blaming others, and take responsibility for our happiness, and start showing up for ourself. You stop looking backwards and finally start looking forward.
Another important thing that needs to happen in a healing journey when you start a new chapter, is the ability to trust yourself. Of course we ask around, we wander, get lost, sometimes people get stuck in the phase of “tell me what to do”. Anyone, just tell me what to do. As if the random person knew what’s better for you. You may seek people who have more authority, teachers, spiritual guru, psychics. And it’s good to learn, but still the choices must feel integral to you, even if you were to make another so called mistake or a detour, it has to be our choice. So how do you know if the guidance comes from within or others?
One of my most favorite ways to get in touch with my soul is guided meditation. The kind that leaves a space for your mind to fill in. So I wanted to create a framework for it and I made the “inner mastermind” and the way I use it is, I go into it with a specific question, famous wise people, teachers, guides, show up and they talk and give me ideas.
You started the journey you felt energized and inspired and then you hit a block and then another… You may take it as a sign to go back, to stop, you may make it mean that it wasn’t a good idea. This is an opportunity to start a drama. It also may be a sign to pivot, it may be another opportunity to expand your mind, if you struggle with something, there may be a thought that is not serving you, and you can change your thoughts to other thoughts that are true but give you a better feeling. Or you can also ask yourself, what is wrong with discomfort? Why do you resist it? Maybe nothing went wrong. Maybe that discomfort should be there because this is the discomfort of growth.
One of the misconceptions is that if we are on the right path it should always feel good. This thought creates more suffering for us. For today I only want you to walk away with the ability to tell apart what kind of discomfort you are dealing with. There is a discomfort of stagnation and the discomfort of growing.
You felt discomfort in the chapter you are leaving behind. It was the discomfort of keeping yourself small, discomfort of halting your potential, discomfort of trying to stop the life force within from blooming and flourishing. When you leave that behind you start experiencing the discomfort of learning, trying new things, doing something for the first time, It is the sort of discomfort that is improving your self confidence, self esteem and its discomfort of stepping in your fuller potential. You want to feel this discomfort. So you see the difference? One is an act of self betrayal, the other is totally worth it.