[Podcast 11] What is Life Coaching? The myths. How to choose?
In this podcast I want to answer the basic questions: What is life coaching? What happens in coaching? What do you get out of it? The biggest myth… How to choose a coach I will give you the full spectrum of real life answers.
Welcome after the longest break. I realized I need to record something about the foundation of this inner work, I have clients coming to me for past life regression, or for hypnotherapy and I see that their problem could or should be addressed in coaching, because that would give us more direct approach. and when I ask have you considered coaching, people say, no, I don’t even know how that could help me.
What is life coaching? Conversation that happens in a confidential space with no agenda, no expectations for you, and no judgement. The coach’s attention is all on you. Their job is only reveal to you more of mind, your potential, simply expand your awareness.
It is a conversation where you can stop holding back your truth, open up to the truth of your emotions , learn to not judge them. It’d good to mention that as we are finding the thoughts and beliefs that are blocking you, we are doing it from a place of curiosity and love. We don’t judge the beliefs, we simply look at their impact in your life, so you truly see what they do, and so you can make conscious decisions if you keep them or change them. We, coaches, are actually trained in holding that neutral space with love.
In personal life you always have someone having a hidden agenda for you. There is always a way you need to reciprocate, people give you advice, according to their experiences. But what about you? Whose life are you living? Sometimes people around you may only be saying yes to you, agreeing with you, nobody challenges your thinking. The coach knows she is not your friend, and she or he will show you your mind without being attached emotionally to your response. That is our job. In coaching it is all about you, finding all the answers within your mind, even if in the beginning you think the answers are outside of you.
Coaching is a partnership , like a mastermind, focused on solving your problems, unfolding and realizing your vision. It is about changing the mindset to match your bigger visions, and it may be about creating a strategy to reach that vision.
The biggest myth is that a coach will tell you what to do. That would be inappropriate because we believe that you are an expert in your life, you know your life better than anyone. If a coach told you what to do, that would be a disservice, they would rob you of an opportunity to expand your mind. When a coach asks you a question it is your mind that goes to work.
It is your mind that is expanding, reaching to the vast quantum field of possibilities that are existing for you. You have many possible futures. You simply need to choose. and focus your attention on it. The particles of that possibility are going to respond to your conscious attention to them. These are scientific findings from a century ago, and something that the ancient sacred texts talked about long before the science proved it.
The coach will not tell you what to do… The exception may be when it’s coaching mixed with mentoring. You could be working on your business, leadership, marketing, weight, overeating, overdrinking, running and we have methods for this, some coaches invest in trainings that specialize in these areas, so you may get suggestions. This way you don’t reinvent the wheel, but a big part of your success will come from your mind, from doing things your way, from a different mindset. Often you will still be a trailblazer , you will take the knowledge but you will still go thru a trial and error on this path. Sometimes there is no outline HOW to get there. You will know how when you get there. Coaching is there so you don’t quit.
I need to tell you that I wish I could ask someone, specifically someone with clairvoyant gifts to tell me what to do. It would be a relief. And if I did what they told me and that would not work, at least I could blame it on them and not me. I am kidding of course.
A big part of coaching is to take personal responsibility, not to delegate that responsibility. Only then you will really create what you want, and you will be proud of yourself because you will see what it takes.
This is important: if you don’t know what to do, you learn, you study. But if you know what to do and you are still not doing it what do you do then? It is not ONLY about knowing what to do. There is an additional thing that has to happen for you to do it. Do you know what it is? Do you know why you do or not do certain things, even if you know better. Do you know why you are not eating that healthy food? Why you do not create like you mean it? Do you know why you are acting in certain way with certain people, and you wish you could changed it? You act this way and not another because of your feelings, in the moment.
And what impacts the feelings? Your thinking. A small thought you can barely notice. So in coaching we are finding them. Changing them. You are creating new thoughts. You are choosing what you want to believe in. And you watch your emotional state change. You learn that like an alchemist you can regulate your emotional state and your body’s emotional response. This is called causal coaching. We are going to the cause. The cause of you doing or not doing what you actually want. You learn that you are the cause of the effect you are seeking. When you are not intentional in your thinking, you are at the effect of thinking and beliefs that are not even yours. When you become intentional, you are choosing what to belief and you can do it! you are the cause of the effect. I ‘d say even though I address subconscious beliefs in hypnotherapy, those beliefs are coming up all the time in your conscious mind.
WHAT DO WE DO IN COACHING? We are having a conversation, focused just on you, the client. You may hear questions nobody ever asked you before. You will be saying things you didn’t know you had within you. And your life changes. Because when you realize your thinking, your story, created specific feelings, which then led you to certain actions and the results from those actions were the reflection of your mind – you will see you are a powerful co-creator in your life. So why not create what you want?
Sometimes coaching feels very healing and balancing. It is not a therapy we don’t mix that, so if you are not functioning, if you have disordered eating or behavior that threatens your wellbeing, you need to see a therapist or a medical professional. Coaching is for you if you function well.
Of course you can also use it if you are in emotional and spiritual pain, you are unfulfilled, empty, or struggle with self-love. And these days many coaches have a trauma informed practice. It is not uncommon for people to be in therapy and coaching at the same time. So coaching could be used to get away from pain.
For example get away from pain of being overweight. And it is also used to move towards happiness, fulfillment, achieving more, when you re more motivated by pleasure of the success. For example pleasure of creating a slimmer body, bc it feels more like you.
WHAT DO YOU GET OUT OF IT? When you take actions on your new awareness you will see tangible results. If you still do not do what you worked on, it is ok, that means there is still something that blocks you. Perhaps it is the fear of discomfort. People talk about the goal being outside of the comfort zone. I say I like to expand the comfort zone so much that it no longer require so much courage because it is easier to reach.
I also see people indulging in coaching. it feels good to have that attention, and process things and find amazing realizations in your mind. The action feels less exciting. If that happens maybe you need to practice more being ok with the discomfort or other feelings that are useful for your goal, but not necessarily feel good. Good/ bad. Useful / not useful. You get out of it as much as you put into it. When you want more from life, the way it works you need to put more of yourself into the life. Causal vs accountability. Does a life coach have to have a perfect life? I often heat from coaches: my life is still a mess, how can I help others? And yet I know they did help. Usually we have the hard lessons, we overcome them we want to help others to found freedom and success in that area. I don’t want my coach to have their life perfect. I want them to be human, I want them to be able to relate to me. The way I feel about it is: I like to be on the other side of the struggle, if I had emotional eating and food addiction issue and I was able to lose weight and break free from it, I know in my core the methods I am using can help. But I also sometimes will go back to that place of struggle, to put my toe in water to experience that a little bit again, to relate. I know how the struggle feels. I recently recorded conversations with other coaches who have very specific group of people they help – they are on youtube – I wanted to share with people who are not in the coaching world, there is someone who helps with your very unique, specific issue. whatever is your problem you can find a coach who already specializes in this problem, a coach who likely went thru the same challenge, who invested in the solutions and training in that area. Just google [ your problem] life coach. And if you are curious what would it be like to work with me in the area of weight, overeating, procrastination, self-love, overcoming sabotage go to positivelyrebellious.com and schedule your free call. Thank you for listening have a wonderful week!