Why do we resist being coached? [video]

Sometimes we resist talking about something that bothers us.  We resist being coached on  it, that means: looking at it, going deep, so we can release it or transform it. Why?

I saw this clearly two weeks ago when I noticed anxiety and fear and tracked it down to something I was thinking. I knew it’s a thought and yet I believed it is true.  I wanted someone to help me sort things out but I was afraid of being judged.

There is no right time or urgency to work on our issues, but we at least need to know why we resist working on something. Because then we can work on that. And this is how we create the amazing sense of clarity and freedom. When our mind is free. 

In this video I’m talking about 5 five things that hold us back from talking about our problem.

  1. Fear of judgement and then possibly feeling shame.
  2. Thinking this is a “luxury, small, first world’s” problem and “other people have bigger problems” 
  3. You realize this will take work, going within, feeling the feelings, and nobody actually will tell us what to do. We will be the ones that need to do the work.
  4. There is a lot of heavy emotions involved.
  5. Postponing sessions because we didn’t do the work and we want to please the coach and we want them to approve of us.

The issue: in each case it is a form of self -judgement

Solution? More self-compassion.

Whatever we work on, there will be also an undercurrent of additional work, on the thoughts you have about the problem. It is normal, it is to be expected. Notice this and know it means nothing about you. Just like me, you have a human brain that will offer negative thoughts from time to time. They do not mean there is anything wrong with us.

 

 

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